My Odd Family

fullsizerender-3My dad and I went to the store the other day and a lady asked us if we were together. Together, together…

That made me think. I can’t count on my hands how many times someone has asked if my dad was my boyfriend. To me, I’m like OMG, NO! But I guess because we look so different no one would ever suspect him to be my dad.

There are many families across that world that resemble each other but no one in my family looks alike. When I was young I used to hate it, but now I feel like it makes for a better story, and a much better blog.

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My White Black Hair

fullsizerender-4A lot of people ask me about my hair…
Maybe because it’s blonde and maybe because I wear it straight a lot…
Once, someone said to me my hair is what makes me look white. I just laugh at the comments and believe people say it out of curiosity. My hair is actually naturally curly though.

Throughout the years of dying and straightening my hair, Its gotten severely damaged, so it doesn’t curl up as much as it used to. And the fact that I dye it blonde and put bleach in it doesn’t help with the damage.  But to me, it looks better blonde with my skin tone and I’m currently working on getting it healthy again. 🙂

We Are All The Same

img_5033I’m not sure how my parents were so strong while being in an interracial relationship…
My dad told me this story and I could never ever forget it….
I was a baby and he and my mom were driving home one night…
They stopped at a gas station to get gas while I was in my car seat in the back seat.
Some young white guys between ages 20-25 started making comments to my mom in the car and when they saw my dad pumping gas they began to make inappropriate and racist comments. My dad finished pumping and got back in the car. As we left the guys followed us, almost running us off of the road. My dad sped to my grandma’s house and ran inside to tell my grandpa that people were following him, and that he thought they were trying to kill us just for being an interracial family.
Long story short, when they passed by my grandma’s house my grandpa made sure to show them that they should leave us alone because he was a hunter and had tools that can kill…if you know what I mean..
So this story sticks in my head because I was a baby and I may not be here if it ended ugly.
It’s crazy too think that my parents were willing to die for their family. Its motivation for me to help open up people’s minds like my mom and dad did and to show them that we are all human who bleed red…

Not Fair

img_5034I’m writing this post because this literally just happened to me this morning…
A few weeks ago, I’m alone, driving blasting BeyoncĂ© in my car, imagining I’m at karaoke (not paying attention to the speed limits,) and unfortunately I was going about 7 miles over when a policeman stopped me. He routinely asked me did I know whey he pulled me over…an this is how the conversation went…
“Um no sir, I didn’t realize how fast I was actually going.”
“You were speeding, about 10 miles over the limit.”
“Oh my gosh, I didn’t even realize. I had my music up and I’m just trying to get home.”
“Okay mam I’m giving you a warning. Please watch your speed.”
“Oh yes sir thank you so much!!!!”

So this morning, the same thing happened but my boyfriend was driving and I was in the passenger side, blasting music, on our way home and we get pulled over….
So the cop looks at me first then he told Brandon that he was speeding. Rudely asked him to get out of his car. Brandon’s license and insurance were exchanged, then the policeman proceeded to write a ticket…
After Brandon got the ticket and we pulled off I couldn’t help but think how different our situations were. The cop was actually nice to me and gave me a warning. When Brandon got pulled over he was mean and didn’t even ask any questions. I
Its just how my life works. My skin color allows me to see both sides and unfortunately most of the time, it isn’t even fair….

Be Careful With Race..

img_4787I brag about my family a lot and they are the greatest but they aren’t always right…. My mom’s side of my family goes on a vacation every year to Disney World. The last time we went, I invited Brandon to come with us. In the days we were getting ready to leave, every member that was attending the vacation was invited to a group text. Group texts make it easier to reach everyone at once.
Now, everyone always jokes about how pale I am, even my family. They make jokes about how white I am, and laugh, but of course they are just joking. Brandon was fairly new to meeting everyone when someone on the group chat made a joke about him. They asked If Brandon was black, and made a comment about an Oreo (talking about us.) They were just trying to be funny and make him feel welcomed…I guess. Well I know my family so I know it wasn’t meant to hurt anyone at all. Brandon didn’t know my family like that at the time. He got upset and I got in a huge fight with my family. I understood both sides, but really got on my family for being somewhat insensitive…
By the time Disney came along everyone had personally apologized and explained that they of course didn’t meant to offend him. They just wanted to welcome him into the family, but you can see that sometimes, when it comes to race, you have to be real careful..

Be Nice

fullsizerenderMost of my life I felt like I never fit in…
I felt like I never fit in with while people because my dad was black. I felt like I never fit in with black people because I obviously looked white.
Once, one of my black school mates told me that I though I was better than black people because I was lighter…
I’ve talked to a lot of mixed people who have had this said to them..even light skinned black people..
Today I feel like things are a lot different, not exactly where they need to be but much better than the prejudices mixed people faced back in the day…
One of the things I hope to inspire in people is that just because someone looks different doesn’t mean they are..
We are all humans who bleed red, some just happen to have different skin colors, or different features about them…
I never thought I was better than anyone, in fact I used think I wasn’t good enough because of the way I looked and who my parents were…

Think of me next time you hear someone being bullied for the way they look..and just be nice to everyone! 🙂

Black People Aren’t Scary

fullsizerender-7One of my coworkers once told me her son is scared of black people..I cant make this up. She told me this before she knew I was mixed but I wondered how someone can be scared of a whole race. I thought obviously someone told him black people are bad..but why? After I told her I was black she told me that her neighborhood was mostly made of white residents. Her son went to school with mostly white children so he didn’t see black people other than the grocery store. I understood that it’s her environment that may be teaching him to be scared and I felt bad for him. A few weeks later she told me that she saw my dad in the store while with her son. She explained to him who the man was and that I was his daughter and he shouldn’t be scared. If I can be an example, to not judge black people or be scared of them that would make my life worth while. Skin color means nothing and if I can teach people like my coworker and her son that, it would mean the world to me 🙂

The White Black Couple

img_4271Once my boyfriend Brandon, who is black, and I went to a comedy club. One of the comedians went on stage and began telling jokes. I’m not surprised that I stood out then because I stand out everywhere I go when I’m with him. So the comedian decided to focus on me and make a joke about who I was with. He made a joke about my boyfriend winning because he was with a “white girl.” We both laughed, but I wanted to say, “I’m not white, I’m Mixed,” but I just kept quiet. I thought to myself, let him think what he wants, like everybody else!

When the next comedian got on stage he of course mentioned me again. I’m thinking why is everybody picking on us?? He started making jokes saying, “Dude, she’s obviously not white.” I wanted to hide under a rock at this point while Brandon was hysterically laughing. But, this incident is funny because it’s pretty much how my life is all the time. Someone thinks I’m white, then another person see’s that I’m not.

A day in the life of a white black girl…

Are You Being Kidnapped?

fullsizerender-6On the subject of my mom, I’ll share an old story. When I was a baby she was a waitress and worked late some nights. Her and my dad shared a vehicle so he would come pick her up when she got off. We lived in a small town so everybody literally knew everybody. My mom had a regular customer who was a police officer. One night she was working past 11 p.m. When my dad came pick her up, she got in the driver’s seat and he went in the back seat to lay down, it was late! Her regular must have been watching and when she left the parking lot he followed. He put on his signal lights and pulled her over. When he did so, he told her to get out of the car and slowly walk towards him. She was tired and wanted to get home, why was he pulling me over, she thought. When she finally reached him he told her that she can tell him if she was in danger. She wasn’t in any danger, so she was confused. He said that someone was in her car, a black man, and asked if she was being kidnapped. She was offended! She told him that was her boyfriend and they were going home. She thought to herself, if he wasn’t black would he have pulled her over? After that encounter, the police officer never spoke to her again. Was he embarrassed or just disgusted? She’ll never know.

I thought I’d add a picture from around that time. Yes, thats me and yes, My parents were fashion ICONS! 🙂

My Mom

 

In my first blog post I talked about how I would receive paperwork from grade school stating that I was a white female. My mom would get so mad. I remember her correcting my race to “bi-racial” every year, which was pretty funny to me. She’d practically draw a hole in the paper from writing so hard! “You are white AND black,” she’d always say. My mom always wanted me to be proud of who I was no matter what and she’s the reason why I’m comfortable in my skin today.

My mom is by far the strongest person I fullsizerender-5know. Can you imagine being white, going to school in the 70’s and 80’s while dating a black man? She received so much hate and criticism just because of who she loved at the time. She once told me a story about her mother, my grandmother, moving her to a different city when she found out she was dating my dad. Dating outside of your race was totally looked down upon then, sometimes unfortunately still now. My grandma didn’t know how to deal with such hate about her own daughter, so moving her away was her only option. Of course my grandma was the greatest woman who ever lived (not joking,) and in time she grew to love and accept my dad as her own no matter what people thought.

Because of all that and so much more that she had to endure, my mom is the strongest woman. She was confident and comfortable within herself to stand up and not back down from people who didn’t agree with what she believed in. I’m thankful for her and she will forever be my role model!!