I’m not sure how my parents were so strong while being in an interracial relationship…
My dad told me this story and I could never ever forget it….
I was a baby and he and my mom were driving home one night…
They stopped at a gas station to get gas while I was in my car seat in the back seat.
Some young white guys between ages 20-25 started making comments to my mom in the car and when they saw my dad pumping gas they began to make inappropriate and racist comments. My dad finished pumping and got back in the car. As we left the guys followed us, almost running us off of the road. My dad sped to my grandma’s house and ran inside to tell my grandpa that people were following him, and that he thought they were trying to kill us just for being an interracial family.
Long story short, when they passed by my grandma’s house my grandpa made sure to show them that they should leave us alone because he was a hunter and had tools that can kill…if you know what I mean..
So this story sticks in my head because I was a baby and I may not be here if it ended ugly.
It’s crazy too think that my parents were willing to die for their family. Its motivation for me to help open up people’s minds like my mom and dad did and to show them that we are all human who bleed red…
I’m writing this post because this literally just happened to me this morning…
A few weeks ago, I’m alone, driving blasting Beyoncé in my car, imagining I’m at karaoke (not paying attention to the speed limits,) and unfortunately I was going about 7 miles over when a policeman stopped me. He routinely asked me did I know whey he pulled me over…an this is how the conversation went…
“Um no sir, I didn’t realize how fast I was actually going.”
“You were speeding, about 10 miles over the limit.”
“Oh my gosh, I didn’t even realize. I had my music up and I’m just trying to get home.”
“Okay mam I’m giving you a warning. Please watch your speed.”
“Oh yes sir thank you so much!!!!”
So this morning, the same thing happened but my boyfriend was driving and I was in the passenger side, blasting music, on our way home and we get pulled over….
So the cop looks at me first then he told Brandon that he was speeding. Rudely asked him to get out of his car. Brandon’s license and insurance were exchanged, then the policeman proceeded to write a ticket…
After Brandon got the ticket and we pulled off I couldn’t help but think how different our situations were. The cop was actually nice to me and gave me a warning. When Brandon got pulled over he was mean and didn’t even ask any questions. I
Its just how my life works. My skin color allows me to see both sides and unfortunately most of the time, it isn’t even fair….
One of my coworkers once told me her son is scared of black people..I cant make this up. She told me this before she knew I was mixed but I wondered how someone can be scared of a whole race. I thought obviously someone told him black people are bad..but why? After I told her I was black she told me that her neighborhood was mostly made of white residents. Her son went to school with mostly white children so he didn’t see black people other than the grocery store. I understood that it’s her environment that may be teaching him to be scared and I felt bad for him. A few weeks later she told me that she saw my dad in the store while with her son. She explained to him who the man was and that I was his daughter and he shouldn’t be scared. If I can be an example, to not judge black people or be scared of them that would make my life worth while. Skin color means nothing and if I can teach people like my coworker and her son that, it would mean the world to me 🙂
Once my boyfriend Brandon, who is black, and I went to a comedy club. One of the comedians went on stage and began telling jokes. I’m not surprised that I stood out then because I stand out everywhere I go when I’m with him. So the comedian decided to focus on me and make a joke about who I was with. He made a joke about my boyfriend winning because he was with a “white girl.” We both laughed, but I wanted to say, “I’m not white, I’m Mixed,” but I just kept quiet. I thought to myself, let him think what he wants, like everybody else!
When the next comedian got on stage he of course mentioned me again. I’m thinking why is everybody picking on us?? He started making jokes saying, “Dude, she’s obviously not white.” I wanted to hide under a rock at this point while Brandon was hysterically laughing. But, this incident is funny because it’s pretty much how my life is all the time. Someone thinks I’m white, then another person see’s that I’m not.
A day in the life of a white black girl…
Most of my confessions are stories about my dad. Of course I’m older now and accept my family just the way they are, but I wasn’t always so confident. A lot of my stories come from when I was younger, trying to accept myself. I started to see that I was different and that caused me to get embarrassed.
My dad used to work nights so he would bring and pick me up from school. I remember when he picked me up I would run to his truck and duck down so nobody saw me. I wanted to fit in and because of that I struggled with the fact that I was mixed but looked white. Looking back, I feel bad that I used to be ashamed of my dad and who I really was. If I could go back, I would tell my younger self to be strong and that being different is something to brag about!!
When I was in Junior High school my friends and I would go walk and get snowballs at a stand near my house. We would go get snowballs after school at least once a week. One particular day we went walk and it just so happened that my dad drove by. He stopped and asked us if we wanted a ride but we liked to walk and girl talk so we said no thanks. After he drove off, this random lady driving by stopped. She said that she noticed a black man following us and asked if she should call the police.
The black man following us was my father asking if we needed a ride, I said. At that young age I was kind of hurt by her comment. My dad couldn’t ask me if I needed help without people judging his skin color? But as I grew older, I just realized that some people weren’t raised the same way I was. Some people may not understand my family and that’s okay, but its a shame because they’re all shades and awesome!!
Do you ever get extremely annoyed by something, or someone? Maybe you get aggravated with someone driving slow in the fast lane. Annoying!!! My biggest pet peeve is when people ask what am I. This may sound dumb, but it is a question I get asked all the time and it’s a bit annoying. Most people think I’m white. Rarely do people think I’m black, but I’ve gotten it before. Some people even ask if I’m Spanish ( which I do have long down the line of my ancestors). I look different and a lot of people can’t quite put their finger on why.
But, they always seem to ask this in the most annoying way…what are you?? When someone asks me that, I always want to say I’m human! I think that a more acceptable way in asking me or anyone that you may be interested in is, whats your ethnicity? I know tons of people who are biracial and many of them say this happens to them too. Mixed people may all look different, like my cousins and I in the picture above, but we’re all human too 🙂
I worked at a restaurant for a few months last year to save some money. Like I said, I didn’t work there long so a lot of people didn’t get a chance to know me well. One night while working, I went to the computer to put a food order in. It was during the week so the restaurant wasn’t very busy. One of the waitresses came to the other computer and began talking to me. She said she had a table full of black people and that she didn’t know why the hostess sat them in her section. So I asked what she meant by that and she said it’s because black people don’t tip. “You know how they are,” she said. This was one of the many “wow” moments in my life.
I know how they are? Well yes, I do know actually and it’s because I am one of them!! I said, I don’t know if you know this but my dad is black…So, of course she apologized and said she didn’t mean it like that. I didn’t take offense to her comment. I just thought to myself that that was a shame that she thinks that way. She shouldn’t discriminate against an entire race because maybe someone didn’t tip her once. But hopefully the next time she judges someone on their appearance, she thinks of me and realizes that assumptions aren’t always right. I hope she also learns that not all white people tip either!
Sunday my brother Juliun moved to Houston. He’s turning 23 this month so he’s looking for a fresh start and Houston is his first stop. It’s bittersweet because I will of course miss him but at the same time I’m very proud of him. I know he’s going to be successful wherever he goes. He is the life of the party and has never met a stranger. Juliun and I are complete opposites though. He is an extrovert and I’m definitely an introvert. He is loud and I’m a bit more soft spoken, but the biggest thing that sets us apart is simply how we look. He has an Olive complexion whereas mine is pale. When I got papers back on the first day of grade school or got a speeding ticket, I was a white female. When he got papers back on the first day of grade school or got a speeding ticket, he was a black male. Once, when he was in school, our mom went pick him up while he was in the band room. When he saw her standing there he got embarrassed and ran out because she was white. Once, when I was in school, my dad came pick me up and I too was embarrassed but because he was black. My brother and I are different in many ways. But, we also are alike in ways that we never knew. We both struggled with acceptance within ourselves and social judgments, a lot like other children. But all of that has made my brother my best friend (and sometimes I secretly wish for his tan.) Hopefully Houston keeps him safe!
Welcome to my blog!!!
Hello everyone..I am a biracial girl who happens to take most of my mom’s genes (which isn’t a bad thing.) My mom is white and my dad is black but I simply look white. So yes, I have the best of both worlds, but in a very unique way.
My confessions come from experiences I have had from being mixed but looking white to most people who don’t know me. Being a white black girl has its pros and cons but mostly it has its, “wait… did that just happen” moments.
I’m just a small town girl who has a pretty unique view on many things, especially race. But Confessions isn’t just for biracial people to relate to and tell their stories, it’s for all races and backgrounds to come read and experience life through my eyes. So, stay tuned for more confessions..!